Many people who go into drug addiction treatment in Fresno insist that they got themselves into this trouble and they will get themselves out of it. If that sounds like you, it’s important o know you must consider how your drug use affects your family. Before you can heal, you have to address your relationships with your family members, and you also must face the consequences that your drug use has had for them.
Melanie Gorman of The Huffington Post has written an interesting piece about family and addiction. She chooses the death of Phillip Seymour Hoffman, who died of a heroin overdose in 2014, to talk about the family left behind. She has little to say about Hoffman, whose addiction caused him to throw away success and fame with both hands. Her concern is for the little ones. She notes that the articles about Hoffman’s death contain just “a sentence or two” about the kids he left behind. How will they feel about the fact that their father abandoned them because of a drug he loved more? How will their my other cope without his emotional or financial support in raising those children?
But there is little need, she says, to berate the addict for selfishness. The people who really should seek out drug addiction treatment in Fresno suffer from a medical diagnosis, an inability to say no to their drug of choice. The symptoms of this medical disease include socially unacceptable, negative behaviors, the kind that make us wrinkle our noses and look down on the person. But nevertheless it is a medical disease that requires help.
This contradiction is then explained by her surprise admission that she is an addict, and so were her parents. If you’re thinking about drug addiction treatment in Fresno, take the time to consider the people in your own family who struggled with alcohol or drugs—because usually a few addicts will tumble out if you shake the branches of your own family tree.
When You Can’t Forgive, Move Forward
There are reasons why therapy with your family is important. What if you love people who have abused you? The National Institute of Drug Abuse tells us that two-thirds of all people with addictions have claimed some level of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse while they were children. More than half of all women with addictions suffer at the hands of their partners. We all need our parents. We all need our partners. Even when they hurt us.
When you decide it’s time for drug addiction treatment in Fresno, it will include help with changing the dynamics of those relationships. Possibly you will realize that the people who abused you will never change. Your responsibility, then, will be to yourself. You will learn to stop letting them hurt you. Maybe you can never change them, but you can learn to move forward from the old pain.
Maybe your family includes people who do not use drugs or alcohol but they may be codependent. Those are the people who love you, whom you love, who do not use drugs, who are not whole unless you need them. They need to be the one to pick you up and put you back together when you fall down. They depend on you to need them, and if you didn’t you would change their whole idea of who they are.
If you have someone in your life who calls in sick for you, who would bail you out of jail, or who would even give you money for drugs, that’s something you need to communicate to the counselor when you go for drug addiction treatment in Fresno. While initial counseling should focus on you and your drug of choice, the counselor will also need to direct that codependent person to get help so that you can move forward in recovery and establish a healthier relationship with them.
Drug Addiction Treatment in Fresno For the Kids’ Sake
The person who needs drug addiction treatment in Fresno can seek out ways to be a better parent. The issue of drug addiction in the family causes unmitigated pain to the children. It goes back to Gorman’s observations about Hoffman’s children. Did he think about them before he phoned a dealer instead of a sponsor? These are the effects of addiction on the little ones you created and put onto this Earth:
- They learn to live with negativity and disappointment. When there is a person with an addiction in the family, people criticize and complain about things within the family circle. The air is charged with frustration, and children learn their best chance of getting attention is through negative behavior.
- Inconsistency affects children adversely, and as a person who needs drug addiction treatment in Fresno you are nothing if not inconsistent. When children cannot depend on their parents, they become confused. They do not learn how to read and react to common situations in life.
- Children never develop self-confidence, because they blame themselves for not curing your addiction or doing whatever was needed to make you happy. They generally do poorly in school because they wear themselves out by worrying about you. They do not learn how to achieve.
- Anger grows quietly but certainly in the children of addicts. The anger will follow them into adulthood. When it’s time to choose a life partner, they will choose someone who’s…just like you.
- Children always learn from their parents’ behaviors. In your case, your children will grow up learning how to do things just like you, including drugs.
Your Next Step
Take some time to think about your relationships with your parents, your partner, and your children. What kind of help with family functioning can you get with your drug addiction treatment in Fresno? Your parents and your partner are adults and bear responsibility for their own role in your drug addiction. Nevertheless, you still need some counseling at a solid methadone treatment program so you can improve those relationships and strengthen your recovery.
Your children, on the other hand, are blameless. Put them ahead of yourself. Even if you can’t bring yourself to get into drug addiction treatment in Fresno for your own sake, do it for your children’s sake—for their future.